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just there for a bit of blogcolour, so don’t mind the ACTUAL STATS :/

Finally! A match arrived in which I majorly reaped some major raep as Tristana the tricksy smurf. My melee-mongling mastery set known simply as ‘PEW!’ proved itself as all this little hoe needed to do for the sweet tasty of victoreh was a bit of ganking, supporting and – in the style of Rincewind – RUNNING THE FUCK AWAY FROM DH4NG30R(Z)!!! Danger, I spelled danger just now, FYI. :3

Also, an epic amount of fast dispatches of minions, low-level jungle beasts and doing an ultimate to fuck with any tight clusters of enemy champs made me a bit of a dick with me abilities. But, mindfuckingly, not one swear or noob move was made that day. So happiness all round, even for the losers. Except the bit where both teams nicked the Baron kill off of eachother about 3 times each. Lawrl! Snarf! Shalom.

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Well fondle my plums and call me Julie Cockfaggin. Twisted Fate, who I’ve never played as, is awesome and has been purchased with haste! His initials are those of Team Fortress, his attire is that of a certain cajun mutant called Remy, and his speedy skills are magnets for kills. He was in the line up the first week I ever LoL’d and I was like ‘hrmmmmm?’ ever since.

And now I really like the fucker – he is far from OP but is definitely deceptively deadly and I accidentally alliterated. Peenus. The match was a real clusterfuck, and even tho I took the gamble to play PvP, our well orchestrated runs of gank-then-support allowed us to defend, defecate, dildotate and defenestrate righteously. Everybody was all over the place, all up in your face and I was all like “DESTINY!!! *gleeeeee*” ❤

Get in! Got a win, a quite decent win with Udyr, a champ I’ve never used before – shame I forgot to grab a pic of the stats, rich in Vitamin Assist and First Win of the Day goodness. Took a gamble, played on Twisted Treeline [so, ergo, not against bots] and we were a bunch of jammy cnuts

who allowed the aggressive enemy team to be the victims of our semi-aggressive/lots of luring into the brush tactical rapeages. Me being me and Udyr being Udyr, a bit of suicidey bum-rushing of the enemyfags was rewarded by well deserved killsteals [my team played well but were twats tbh, so fuck ’em].

Udyr is cool, a bit bashy-mashy oh-shit-he’s-running-at-me like Jax, and quite a reliable stand-still-and wallop kind of defensive knacker. Also, I’m fond of dudes wearing bearskins, turtles and phoenixes being pretty sweet too. So, whoop-de-hoo-rah. Op PikDik furthered. Seeya’s.

Also, big props to summoner NommaH who’s started a wee LoL livestream. I shud chek dat out – n u shud 2 lolomgz!

Jizz apples! No stats for this one, I’m too pissed off.

In a Twisted Treeline match, playing as Veigar and being fucked off at AFK nooblets on both teams I saw the soiled underbelly of Operation Pickledickle. So, at this juncture, I am allowing myself a new rule – I can replay the match if the first go gets ruined by despicable play tactics or AFK wankers. So, that’s what I did, and yes I still lost second time round. The same twat who had got all butthurt and AFK’d for the entire first discounted match was back to rape me in the second match, playing a stupidly fucking Charles Bronsonly aggressive match where the prime target was both our bottom turrets.

Have some freaky hoes, you concave cretins!

Not even being dressed as a White Mage was able to Curaga my Meteo in this match. Funts. But still, I love how much magic damage you can pump into Veigar’s build to piss people off as you immobilise them with one hand and skyfuck them with t’other (ie Veigar’s abilities that I can’t remember the names of). Bweeeeeeeee!

Oprtn PcklDckl Rnd 2 was thon new fangled thorny bitch Zyra, and as another new champ playing her first Dominion vs bots, our team took it to the bitter end and won. Hoorah, not a hugely tricky task but yum yum to the IP wot we got and a big fuck you to the Warwick bot who thought he was Johnny Bravo!

Enjoyed playing Zyra too, not bad on the old damage received/given stakes but cos I’m quite thick, didn’t complicate my strategy too much and blah blah reference to that Seal song from Batman Forever (solve my cryptic maze, for I am Lex Luthor, answers on a comment-shaped postcard you numpties).

Pooped a lot of pointy posthumous projectiles around too, but if you’re more buzzed about attacking AFTER you have died, you’re a spazzy moron. Anyway, if I’ve learned anything here it’s that all champions become legendary awesomeguys in Dominion. That’s why I still like the game mode even if it’s a bit samey. Amen to that, my Nazi bretheren. ❤

luxface on human boobs but sum1 drewed samus :/

So, Operation Pickledickle started off promisingly – for all of five shittin minutes. :/ Balls! This first match interestingly had me playing Viktor on Summoner’s Rift, a wild-cardy Free Rotation champ that I’d never played before, granting me a decent challenge but thankfully a straightforward start to my run by playing against bots.

I think Death Ray is a pretty cool guy, he has a hand on his back and doesn’t afraid of anything. The match began with stinkingly retarded play from a team of fags, I was working my ass of to get some killz going, seeing if Vik was any use at all, and after a nice tag-team effort with Anivia for the opening minutes everything went to shite. Jesus! What is wrong with these people – inbreeding, being from Latveria or being 12 years old? Or all three?

Thank flip I found Viktor to be a friggin epic guy [who I will def be buying in] with his speed buff magic crystal thingy or I’d have cried blood and wee-wee. BTW, spoiler alert: WE FUCKING FUCKING LOST TO A LOAD OF FUCKING BOTS! Damn my team, damn them to the hell that is Lurgan. No need to explain this travesty any further. We were crap, bots were tricksy, you’ve seen the stats – watcha gonna do? 😀

Welcome to my League of Legends blog, you slags and summoners. Enter the Spartan madness that is Operation Pickledickle!

In this vehicle of LoL admiration, I have tasked myself with documenting a whole series of matches I will play over the coming weeks, each with a different champion. I’m going to treat it kind of like a board game or some shit, where different shit means different … shit [no shit Shercock].

And the rules are as follows:

1) Fights are chosen from my list of available champs as I work backwards from Z-A on the list of names; Fields of Justice are chosen at my discretion, I will try not to play too many Dominion matches cos its a tad easy.

2) Free Rotation champs must be played as they appear, even if they swap the order of champs on my available list; any rotated champ I’ve never played before is allowed to face a team of Intermediate bots.

AND OH LOL – looks like my first five matches are all Free Rotation, how the fuck did that happen, and why did I start this Operation on a Monday?!? Derp. Nice, looks like there aren’t really any other rules.

But one last thing to tell you if you’re interested. My play style is a bit aggressive and suicidey cos too many pussies don’t fight, piss around and selfishly don’t die the odd time too many, I’d rather fight my balls off, strut round the map like a rooster with a flamethrower and not be scared to die. All that is noteworthy of my buffs etc. is that the Masteries I use – two pages named BLAM! And PEW! – are designed to compliment either magick users or physical battlemeisters. Works pretty well for me, but I really like the champs who are like “Fuck your bipolar masteries, we have no clue if we are more firebally or more swordy! Lmao WasabiDingus!” – risky biscuits such as Singed or Blitzcrank. Anyway let’s all LOL at LoL and go Leet on some Lemons!